From DreadCentral.com :
[ Also, in case you missed it, a while ago I blogged about how all of Seagal’s movie titles told a story. I have updated it especially for this occasion and present it to you now in its entirety!
Steven Seagal was ABOVE THE LAW, but he was too HARD TO KILL, so now he’s been MARKED FOR DEATH by Haitians who are OUT FOR JUSTICE. Can he live while UNDER SIEGE? Could you survive while UNDER SIEGE 2? It was time to make an EXECUTIVE DECISION about THE GLIMMER MAN. There’s a FIRE DOWN BELOW and only Seagal, THE PATRIOT, can heal the EXIT WOUNDS left in his TICKER. Despite being HALF PAST DEAD, THE FOREINGER who was OUT TO KILL Seagal emerged from THE BELLY OF THE BEAST. His name was CLEMENTINE. Safety was OUT OF REACH for Seagal, but still he walked INTO THE SUN until he was SUBMERGED into the Pacific Ocean by a threat unknown. TODAY YOU DIE yelled Clementine as THE BLACK DAWN rose. But Steven is a MERCENARY FOR JUSTICE, a SHADOW MAN, an ATTACK FORCE all his own! His FLIGHT OF FURY would unleash some cold hard URBAN JUSTICE as he PISTOL WHIPPED the man whose true motivation was to stop filming of THE ONION MOVIE. At this KILLING POINT Seagal prevailed, proving that he is still — THE PRINCE OF PISTOLS! It was then that he finally flipped the KILLSWITCH. A midget named RUSLAN was his next target, and tonight would be the little man’s LAST NIGHT on earth if he didn’t comply peacefully. Seagal was to be THE KEEPER of his tiny destiny. Together they would both have to fight AGAINST THE DARK!
To be continued.
– Uncle Creepy ]